This is a question I've been asking groups I'm speaking to and honestly, of myself.
What keeps us from prayer?
You've got the ordinary answers like "time". Of course, if we had more time we'd pray....but would we?
I don't think time is a valid answer.
I think that sometimes we don't believe that God really cares. We know the Sunday School answer that God loves us, but we haven't unpacked that belief into our daily life. We don't believe that He really is that interested in us.
Anyone who knows me and loves me would tell you that I am a lot. I have a lot of words. I have a lot to say, and I feel pretty passionately about a lot of things. There are times that I feel like I am too much. (Anybody else?) There are aslo times when I feel like no matter how hard I work I am never enough. I know that you feel that one with me.
Here's the truth: I am never too much for God. My neediness does not repel Him.
There was a shift in my prayer life when I started to understand this. I used to think that prayer was for really important things, and then I realized that to God,
I am really important things.
Read that back and let it sink in.
Another reason we don't pray, We don't believe it works. We believe God is there and that He is in charge, but we don't think He will give us the answers we desire. Sometimes this comes from a frustration with what we feel are unanswered prayers. We feel like God didn't give us our desired outcomes in the past and want to protect our hearts from disappointment. I'm being completely honest here when I say that there are things I have been praying for inside my immediate family for years that I am still waiting on.
I've wrestled with this. I've stopped praying because it hurt. But that is what the enemy desperately wants, to keep us away from God. Prayer's goal is not to attain what we want, it's to know God. The end goal of prayer is to know God's heart, not manipulate my plans. I often get that confused. Prayer always works when we are aimed at the right target.
And lastly, at least for today, we don't want to wait. We much prefer to feel that conrol is in our hands and that we can manipulate the timeline to get what we want now. As much as this sounds like a spoiled child, I know, I've been there. It doesn't mean we are doing it for selfish reasons. We can be seeking to manipulate circumstances for good, for other people, and it can even be unselfish. Some of my most frustrated cries out to God have been for other people.
If the goal of prayer is to be with God, to seek His face, to know Him, then I believe that sometimes we wait because God wants us to know Him better. I don't know if this is true, but I like to beleive that sometimes God has me wait for a bit because He likes to see me coming to Him. Why He likes me, I don't know. That one will remain a mystery, but I am really starting to beleive that He does. He knows that we will seek Him out when we need Him. He gets that we are human, and He can use this for our benefit. There is nothing like waiting to remind me that I am not in charge and help me recognize and be thankful for the answer when it comes. Waiting can be a protection for my heart.
These are things I am learning (don't read have learned). I struggled this morning to pray in belief for something I have prayed countless times. I also renewed a pray that I haven't prayed in a long time. It was painful, but I also know God met me there. I don't know what or when His answer will be. This is me being painfully honest. Tomorrow, I'm going to ask again, and I will struggle to wait with an expectant heart.
God, I trust You to know and choose the best for me. I can't see what You can see. I believe You love me. Thank you for wanting me and making plans for my good. Thank You for listening always and allowing me to share my heart.
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