"My pride didn't want to lay down the idol of perfection - in myself or in others. It wanted to keep striving for it. I know people-pleasing doesn't seem like a pride issue, but if we're honest, it really is. I want to believe I can be exactly who everyone wants me to be if I try hard enough." -Ruth Chou Simons
Those underlined words, that's the root of my people-pleasing. I constantly want to be everything for everyone. The only person who can do that is Jesus. I'm trying to take up His space when I believe that I can do His job. That's the truth of it. I want to believe that I can be, can do exactly what everyone wants.
When my heart actually saw it that way this week, I was devastated. That might sound bad on the surface, but I need to welcome that devastation. I need to hold onto this picture so that my pride can be devastated, completely demolished. That idol of perfection in me needs to be torn down.
My word for the year this year is grace. Accepting God's grace means there is no reason to hustle. I have His favor because I belong to Him. The hard part is resting in it because I am so practiced at striving for the favor of everyone else.
When I choose to try and gain approval for myself, I'm actually falling away from grace. I saw this connection as I read in Galatians 5:4, "You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law, you have fallen away from grace". Paul says that we are severed from Christ when we try to justify ourselves. Grace gives me not just God's forgiveness, but His approval and love. It's free and not dependent on my actions. I don't have to earn it or strive for it. It's enough when I never will be.
I don't want to fall away from that gift; I want to embrace it so tightly that I can't forget. I certainly don't want to be severed from Christ, but that is what I am choosing when I don't rest in grace and choose the approval of man over the approval of God.
People will reject me. People will reject you. God will not.
God didn't choose me because of anything I can bring Him, I've got nothing He needs. He chose me because I need Him. His love doesn't depend on me.
This is why Proverbs tells us that "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety." ( 29:25 NLT). I can't please people and feel safe, I will always be striving and anxiously reading other's responses to gauge my own steadiness. Accepting and trusting grace means I am safe in God's steadiness.
I need to change what I believe. I cannot be what everyone wants me to be in every situation, but I can stop looking to them for safety. I can believe that I am who God wants me to be and focus on pleasing Him with my belief and my becoming. I can choose to look away from people and look at God and believe Him. He takes pleasure in our belief.
This is not a pass to stop pleasing people and just do what you want. This is not a call to freedom for selfishness, it's a call to take the focus off of me and what I think I can do and put it back on God where it belongs. He is the only place peace is found.
Father, help me take this to heart.
Help me feel the steadiness of your grace under my feet and rest in it.
Remind me that you are looking for progress and not perfection
as I attempt to redirect my gaze to You alone.
Help me specifically walk this out in my words, that I will speak
"not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts"(1Thessalonians 2:4).
Keep testing my heart and showing me where I am striving for something from people
that I can only receive from You.
Thank you for grace, which ushers in peace.
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