Reading What I Wrote

Steadfast Through Psalms

You know when you hear your own voice recorded and you ask, "Does that really sound like me?", that's kinda like what I'm experiencing. I'm slowly doing my own devotional and recognizing my own voice speaking directly to my soul is a strange but amazing thing. It reminds me that these words weren't just mine. God is using them to grow me. God is so cool like that. I'd love to tell you that all the things I talk about in this study are things that I have mastered, but they aren't. I'm still learning them. I sometimes forget that things are really a process, that my sanctification is a process. I often mess up in the exact same way that I did last week. You too? That's learning. I don't often give myself space to do that. I sit under the expectation that I should be perfect by now.

I also tend to tie my identity to my performance. This week, I'm reading some of my own words to my heart to remind myself of who I am. It doesn't take too long for me to get lost if I am not paying attention to what I am actively believing. I try to see myself through other people's eyes and it starts to make me dizzy. I worry about how I am being misunderstood instead of resting in the fact that I am understood completely by the One that matters.

God's love rests in the decision He made to love us when we were dead in our sins.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Our emotions rise and fall on the tide of people's approval when our heart was designed for God's approval. God can see all of our successes and all of our failures, but He doesn't base His love for us on them. He loves us because we are His. I simply need this reminder, even though I've known it to be true, I am forgetful. Remembering is the difference between peace and striving. This next week, I am going to remember, not strive, not accomplish, not succeed, I'm just going to remember and see what those roots produce. I'm going to let myself be nourished by the truth of God's love. My heart needs the rest.

Ask yourself these questions:

What am I letting my thoughts rest on, is it true?

What is driving me?

Is it fear or love?

God, help me learn to rest in Your love, not just rest when things get done. Help me see how you see me instead of trying to imagine what other people think of me. Help me rest my identity on what You say about me. Show me where I am being driven by fear and help me correct it with love.

And we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us.

God is love; whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear,

because fear involves punishment.

The one who fears has not been perfected in love.… 1 John 4:16&18